The Pearly Gates
06 Nov 2007

A soccer player dies and accidently is sent to hell. When he arrives he is greeted by the devil.

Devil: What did you do in your former life?
Player: I was a soccer player
Devil: Good. Your all set. You have a game on Monday, 2 games on Tuesday, a game on Wednesday, 2 games on Thursday, a game on Friday and 2 games on Saturday and Sunday.
Player:This is great I never had this on Earth.

After a few days the devil comes to the soccer player

Devil: Hey buddy we made a mistake. You were supposed to go to heaven.

So the player is sent to Heavan and meets St. Peter at the Gate

St. Peter: So what did you do in your former life?
Player: I was a soccer player.
St. Peter: Oh, Well your first game will be in about 6 months.
Player: 6 months? When I was in hell I had a game every day sometimes two games a day. What's the problem, Not enough soccer players?
St. Peter: Oh we have plently of players. The problem is Hell has all the referees.

Piano
06 Nov 2007

First fan: "I wish I'd brought the piano to the stadium."
Second fan: "Why would you bring a piano to the football game?"
First fan: "Because I left the tickets on it."

Parents...Who'd Have 'Em?
06 Nov 2007

Three fans were bemoaning the fact that their team kept losing and was facing relegation.
"I blame the manager" said the first, " if he would sign new players then we could be a great side"
"I blame the players" said the second, "if they made more effort I am sure we would score more goals"
"I blame my parents", added the third, " if I'd been born in another town I'd be supporting a decent team!

When Saturday Comes....
06 Nov 2007

We've got the best football team in the country unbeaten and no goals scored against us!'
'How many games have you played?'
'The first one's next Saturday.'

Stupid!
06 Nov 2007

A rather dim fan arrives at a football match midway through the second half.
"What's the score?" he asks his friend as he settles into his seat.
"Nil-nil," comes the reply.
"And what was the score at half-time?" he asks